JavKiller's operational log.

Some thoughs of the day

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 05:43:41 GMT

My new tablet is awesome.

I just caught two download sources for the 52nd avatar episode.

I'll never catch up with my time schedulle if I keep going to bed at 3 in the morning.

It's sad to see my dad dealing with depression.

My friends here are really hard to reach.

I need to practice paintwork intenselly.

I have to wake up early no matter the cost.

I have to excersise during the mornings.

I need to start warming up my drawing before I get to it.

I need to complete the secret santa for AM.

I miss my brother.

On the inability to overstate one's satisfaction

Tue, 04 Dec 2007 16:02:58 GMT

I have a freaking 9x12 Intuos3

>:3

On things to come

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 15:15:33 GMT

What I hate the most about life is when somehow everything starts going great and suddenly a great day takes a 45 degree turn into not-so-goodness.

When I recall about yesterday I can only begin to think of how sleep deprivance affects my mood. Or more precisely, how it does not. I was running on a 24 hour sleep lag during the past two days. The reasons are pretty simple; fucking around late at night for silly little internet things until the sun comes out, and you suddenly realize if you even dare to sleep for a couple hours, you will never ever get up in time for the morning classes.

So I say "well then I just hold up today and I'll get to the night with enough backlogged sleep to just bonk down on the mattress for a whole nine hours" Except it doesn't quite work that way and you end up taking a silly little afternoon nap at three, of which you end up waking up at nine. And there went tuesday afternoon.

But yesterday was different, for I seem to have nailed the exact same combination of activity, iddlessness, and a strange alchemy of energy drinks and coffee, consumed at the precise rythm and rate to cause me to feel just drowzy enough to carry on with my day.

I made it to 7pm feeling just mellow. I love it during summer, with what the long days and all, there is that time when it's not hot any more but it's not cold either... It's just before sunset, and everything seems a little more alive then. Colors even seem brighter, more vivid. I can just walk around like a zombie with a smile worthy of a coke addict and I'll just know that no matter how much I may feel like shit, that magic time does a sort of emotional format C on my brains and I can just enjoy that moment.

I had to go to the bus terminal to pick up some tickets so I can go back home to visit my parents this weekend. They've been feeling a bit sad and lonely lately. Can't blame 'em, what they've had to stand on their own with their two remaining offspring living 400 Km away. I've been calling them daily, often two times a day but it still breaks my heart everytime they mention they've been feeling particularely sad. Just makes me feel a little guilty every weekend I can't go back to them.

When I came back home I was feeling nice though, and I had at least one hour worth of sun up there so I pick up my backpack and walk to a nearby park, where I take a whole bench for myself and deploy my mobile art station. I doodle for about ten minutes and this scrowny fella comes by me on a bike. My peripheral vision picked up on him but I disregarded at first until he stopped right next to me. He talks to me, I couldn't quite hear him over my iPod blasting the Katamari Damashi soundtrack on my eardrums. I take out one of my headphones to listen to his astoundingly fast and rather garbled speech asking if I didn't have a spare buck to buy a coke.
I was not suprised. I give my ussual beggar-diregard response "I don't have anything on me, sorry" and resume my doodling. Dude wouldn't go away and keeps asking. I reinforce with an additional "left out my home without anything, really".

Then he goes all the way to drop the bomb "wanna die right here?".
The word gun may have been uttered too. I can't say I was surprised. I kept my cool. I assess the situation in a split second. Witnesses around, but nowhere near enough to save me if the proverbial shit were to hit the fan. Dude was on wheels so he could easily scamper off fast enough not to be identified. What to do?

"seriously, I'm sorry but I don't have anything"

He asked again about a million times. I don't really know since he spoke so damn fast. Eventually he just desisted and left off with a smile saying something down the lines of "don't worry just keep on what you're doing". I stared at his figure as he rode his bike down 7th street, looking back at me every few meters. I suppose he might have been measured my reaction, but as long as he was still on sight, all I did was stay there and stare with the same puppy-eyed face in which I disposed of him.

The last thing I accerted to say to the dude was "was this really necessary?"
I know logic does not apply to these types, but something inside me told me I may eventually hit a primal chord on his mind that would well help saving my life. I also think he may have just been bluffing all along. I didn't think he coul've had a gun holstered. But you never know.

I don't really mind this kind of crap. But it scares me in a way most other things don't.
Perhaps I'm taking it too seriously but being reminded of one's own life being something so easily disposed of is ...

well I was enjoying that day. It's a shame.

.o. bleh

So true...

Fri, 19 Oct 2007 21:25:53 GMT

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 03:35:28 GMT

My brother passed away this afternoon, after suffering severe complications from corrective heart surgery. The best surgeons in this country worked on his open chest for about one straight day, but not even that could stop an untraceable bleeding which ended up stopping his heart.

He was one of the most exemplary persons I have had the pleasure to share my time with, and he left us at the age of 34, far too soon.

I can't handle the pain of my family right now. It's unbearable. I can't even begin to graps the entirety of what this means.
The world does seem quite dull without him. He was a big part of my life, even when I did not live with him any more. I was fortunate to have such a close relationship with my brother, so he leaves a huge gap on my life.

I'll miss you Gon. Terribly.

delicious

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 11:01:24 GMT

I haves verified paypal.

Ohyes :V

god damnit

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 09:15:17 GMT

Note to self, don't screw with paypal.

I just lost 200 dollars to them. They froze my account.

200 hard earned dollars of comissions which I had mostly NOT done yet. Now I will have to be working this shit while knowing I'm not gonna see a dime for it, because I was stupid enough to think their service was anything near good and effective. I cannot stress enough how angry I am right now.

I'm not gonna be seeing that tablet until after year's end as things are. I was looking forward to it so much, and things were looking up so greatly too. I fell in a bunch of confidence and I'm seeing it crumbling. I need to punch things. I am that angry. Also emo post.

From this day on I will go thru great extents for my customers to pay me thruought xoom. I will also verify a new paypal account using my dad's info, verifying it with HIS own titular credit card, so that they can deffinitivelly not fuck with it.

But still, 7 comissions free. Because of my stupidity.

I really want my money.... ):

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 05:01:13 GMT

caltsartagged me. How dare he! O:
• Pick your birth month.
• Strike out anything that doesn't apply to you.
• Bold the five-ten that best apply to you.
• Copy to your own journal, with all twelve months under a cut.
• Tag 6(ish) people from your friends list.

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. ~~Quiet unless excited or tensed.~~ ~~Takes pride in oneself.~~ Has reputation. ~~Easily consoled.~~ Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. ~~Tactful~~. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. ~~Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.~~ Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. ~~Loves to be alone.~~ Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

This was pretty on the spot... O.O

JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

I tag everyone >:V

thingsies

Wed, 05 Sep 2007 01:13:02 GMT

Yesterday was probably the most awesome winter day I have ever seen. It was almost like summer.
Today was strange. Temperature felt like summer, the skies were covered all day though. The sun looked orange all day long thruought the cloud cover, giving everything a bizarre bloomy feel.

I've been told this is the sign for the mother of all yearly storms. Accuweather says it's raining right now, but o.o I see no rain, nor I hear any. Hoping for less temperature though.

Oh I also was worried about having an unfixable sleep delay syndrome, but it turns out I can sleep normally if I deprive myself a little. Yesterday I did 12 to 7 :D

I also ate quite good these days. And been keeping my college workload on schedulle, along with the comissions. I need more time to draw though... I took a long long play time today , so as to recover all the time I haven't actually relaxed in a while.

:x

Oh page 3 of the comic comission I've been doing is up. 'tis extra nawty though.

Thassit.

Perspective

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 00:25:48 GMT

One of my art teachers has a blog in which he keeps links to other artist's blogs. Now these other artists aren't what you'd call just nublets, they are seasoned professionals who work for game companies, animation studios and other amazing places, and keep a blog to throw their speed paintings and art etchings.

It helps to put things in perspective. It's both humbling and inspiring. Kind of like the galaxy song, y'know?

"...so remember when you're feeling
very small or insecure
how amazingly unlikely is your birth.
And pray there's intelligent life
somewhere up in space;
'cause there's bugger all
down here on earth!"

Hey look!

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 17:02:07 GMT

I seem to be getting a better grasp at this anatomy thingie.

More to come :D.
Also as of late I lost a crapload of comissions because of being a 'tard. :V
Then again I got the feeling this parson didn't quite want them from me because of my art skills. I mean otherwise personal issues or not they'd still throw me money to draw them. I don't want pitty-based patronage, as much as I really need the cash right now.

:/

Oh also doing a little 6 page comissioned comic. VERY nsfw too. It's FUN 83

Hey there it was...

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 06:42:08 GMT

I just found my anatomy.

Costed me about 170 bucks on anatomy books. :V whadayaknow they key -was- studying after all.

Some people have it easier I guess. Me, I had to make an extra effort, like in everything else. But hey!

>:D

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>:D!
lulz

Where did all that anatomy go?!

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 05:07:29 GMT

Trying to draw a comic. Can't freaking get the body parts right.

wtf

D':

:3 Know whut?

Mon, 26 Mar 2007 04:26:42 GMT

Internets-wise, from all teh peeps I've known online ever since I know how to use the web, Ther are very few ones who have more happy than sad memories of me.

I think I've been a bit of a jerk :x

Art meme'd

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 16:31:40 GMT

The first five people to respond to this post will get some form of art, by me. I make no guarantees about quality, type, or timely delivery but I will assure that I will give it a good effort. The only catch, of course; as with most memes, if you sign up, you have to put this in your own journal as well.

Spring break!

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 19:59:05 GMT

Spring is here and so is I at my parent's house, enjoying my self-provided one week vacation from real life.
Peh, who am I kidding, I have work coming out of my butt anyway but, at least I can do it in a more relaxed fashion and without having to go to college in the meantime.

Since now I'm pretty much economically stable and my times are fixed, I've made enough time to start going to the gym again. THis is really good since I've put up a serious ammount of weight as of late and it's not looking pretty. At all. In preparation for this I've started running and doign a light routine using my house's gym equipment.

*ouch*

I ache.

Also this week shall see much evening deathmatches and probably even paintball if I'm very lucky... hwo knows? THe climate's calling for it. I hope so. All in all yay!

Random ramblings, yay.

Fri, 25 Aug 2006 22:10:59 GMT

Let us random for a while. I really feel like it.

Let's see... from the top of my head, my computer table SUDDENLY is rocking back and forth even tho a preliminar look indicates all it's wheelies are on perfect operational status and not over any terrain anomalies, therefore I will proceed to put a book under a wheelie to compensate for this unnerving malfunction.

And so I have to stop pushing it with my damn foot for it to be steady. >:(

It seems that during last week, climate took a 180 turn. Now it's springtime alluvasudden. Trees began blossoming and I've been on shirt and shorts for a good while now. That makes a happy Jav :). Last time I stayed in town I didn't make it this far on the year so I didn't get to enjoy how nice this place is during springtime. That's actually something to look forward to, considering the increasing ammount of classes for the upcoming months were starting to look kind of grim.

On the downside, it appears that I lost my ID. Again.
I believe it was in one of the many occassions when I leave my jacket while working. This sucks tho, even when redoing it here only takes 15 days or so, I feel like a complete idiot. It's like the fourth time in 5 years... I'm lucky I have two backup IDs to compensate, but still that one allowed to do things the other two are not offical enough for. This is seriously distressing. I really hope it's somewhere around home and I'm just worrying out of nothing...

Also for some reason I believe I'm gonna make a jump forward on the artz. yesh. :3

>:/ despite some people. *GRUMBLE*
but well :)

Thu, 08 Jun 2006 22:11:49 GMT

Rain could you stop falling down interminably so I can go get the stuff to finish my fucking homework kthxbai.

D:!

@.@ ohshi...LIGHTNING!

Thu, 11 May 2006 17:14:30 GMT

Thursday noon.

Yesterday I missed a class I didn't even know if I had. I've been told the class was held on the exact place I looked for it so... I'm really lost now o.o
There's drawing today. Drawing would be so much cooler if I could haul my ass to bed earlier so I wouldn't be all sleepy, still it was pretty fun and interesting. It's become a nice habit to force myself to try and draw stuff I don't ussually do, like plants or landscapes. Lotsa fun stuff :3

Tomorrow there's assignment presentation. I gotta get all these thingies ready and shiny for the final grading. <3

Mon, 08 May 2006 18:11:31 GMT

Monday morning.
Painting class is fun when you finish all the assignments for the class 3 classes ahead of everyone else. I get to doodle and stuff n.n. Teachers still encouraged me to try out a few more iterations of my last abstract work. Actually they pretty much considered to be not really abstract since I worked with graffity style and stencils. Shapes n stuff. So tomorrow I get to try again with some minor variations on the theme. Still wish I had a cammera tho.
Daily shopping was done. FINALLY got all teh materials for friday's assignment correction. I really really hope that goes ok, now all I gotta do is paint the last one and get all the prints done to assemble them. And thassit.

:3 I start going to the gym again today. w00tsies :D

Sun, 07 May 2006 20:57:44 GMT

Agh, what a tarded weekend this was. So much boredommm.... I gotta start organizing my weekends better instead of around work but... ;o; I juz wanted to take this friggen homework off my back. n.n least now I can sleep peacefull n stuff.

Tue, 02 May 2006 18:44:18 GMT

The weekend went away as a fun fun bunch of lazing around with Pyro, being around Buenos Aires, eating random takeout chinesse and stuff at the mall, many a drawings and videogames and much much more that I dun wanna journal. :3 w00t.

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 03:18:46 GMT

UHm... when I don't really have much to do and no TV at home during the weekends, it's always nice to have a bunch of unseen anime around just to waste time while I draw. It's a problem tho that most are fansubs since I need to read subbing and this really sucks when I want to do stuff like drawing. Still it's ok. And still drew a lot! And I managed to watch 20 episodes of bleach in a day... eesh.

Humm. Going to a park during a sunny warm afternoon and spending 4 hours doodling is something I hadn't done in years. 'twas really cool. I'm gunna do it more!

Sun, 23 Apr 2006 02:01:18 GMT

OOookay. So here's the deal, after five attemtps those nasty cable dudes never showed up and their lousy excuses about their system failing are starting to make me snap. The plan is, if they don't show around by monday nite, I'm planning a field trip to their central office with intentions to kick desks and be loud. And prolly leave happily to another better service company.

MWAHA!

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 02:53:37 GMT

It's funny. Tomorrow can be summed up as a day to do nothing. I have to wake up and go to college, then come back and spend the rest of the day waiting for stuff to arrive at my home, being a truck with a lot of furnitre or the cableguys. So I'm stuck at home from 2 to 8 pm...

:3 'least I get to draw, nyo.